Boat Guest

How To Be A Good Boat Guest

Ray McAllister

Once I wrote a column entitled How to be a Good Boat Guest! Believe it or not, I touched a raw nerve, because I still get requests for the column from skippers who copy it over and over, then give a copy to each new person who comes on the boat. Since few of you will have read it, I am redoing it for the present crop of skippers and new guests, in the hope that you divers and fishermen who have no boats of your own will read it and be forever welcomed by any boat owner. Here tis!

The owner of a boat is the sucker, in many ways. They spent good money for the boat, pay dockage, insurance and upkeep, fill it with fuel, spend uncounted hours keeping it running and clean. When a howling thunderstorm breaks over the area, and you, the guest, are inside your home, warm and snug, the owner is worrying whether the bilge pump will operate, whether the last close lightning bolt struck the antenna or outriggers, whether the docklines have chafed from the wild swings of the boat in the storm, and in general, the owner is under tension until things straighten out. In hurricane season the skipper may have to take the boat up a canal, or into a hurricane hole, several times a year, again, while you are relaxing with the TV. But eventually the worst is over and they invite you to go diving, or fishing, or just boating with them.

You come aboard with hard soled shoes and the rubber heels mark up the clean deck and gunwales. You bring all your diving gear, weight belts, tanks and gear bag aboard and drop them on the deck, "Oops, I chipped some fiberglass with the weight belt, but it hardly shows." Your gear obstructs the passageways, hatches, etc., and your tackle box and valuables go on the chart table in the wheel house. Then you pop a beer, cause beer and boating have got to go together, RIGHT? Often a beginner brings glass bottles, which have a nasty habit of getting broken, and glass on a boat deck, particularly a diving boat deck, is murder. Make yourself comfortable. The captain runs forward and casts off the bow line, the springs, and then the stern line. Hope he didn't step on your feet while he did it. Someone will coil the lines later. Do you know who? Yup, the captain or owner.

Well, we reach our destination. Now it's every man and woman for themselves. While the captain anchors, sets the dive flag and the trailing safety line, you can finish that beer. Did you bring it or get it from the icebox or cooler on board? Get your gear on and block all the deck so skipper has to wait until someone goes over the side. By the time he or she gets in the water, all the fish have been spooked, the lobster taken or, perhaps it's a fishing boat, and a couple of you are in the fighting chairs. Does the captain get a chance to fish? Before the school of dolphin have quit biting? "Sorry, Cap'n, I was just gonna give you one of the rods."

When lunchtime rolls around, everyone digs into their coolers and brings out sandwiches and other goodies. Anything for the skipper? Maybe next time. "What's that Cap'n, another beer? Don't mind if I do." Did anyone bring beer for the owner or to share? I should note that this is technically illegal. The skipper cannot even drink one of your drinks because " it makes him a vessel for charter." Talk about stupidity in laws!

Well, all good things come to a close. After a long day, everyone dog tired and sunburned, you finally arrive at the dock. A tremendous flurry of activity. "Hey, Cap'n, it's been a great day, but we stayed longer than I thought. My wife expects me at five so I better run. Call me next time!" "Hey, man, great day. Call me when you go again." "Gee, I'd love to stay and help, but I've got a heavy date tonight. See you soon." In minutes there is a dirty boat and a tired captain alone at the dock.

And try this scenario! A hard day's diving. The captain was the last one in the water, or maybe didn't get in because the current was ripping, so Cap stayed with the boat to be sure it was there when the divers returned to the surface. The guests jump out onto the dock and begin to tail their lobster and clean their fish, using, of course, the captains fillet knife and water. Then they take off leaving a tired owner, a dirty and bloody boat, fish box, cleaning board and knife. (Some guests do wash the knife!) The owner's fish, if any? Still uncleaned in the unwashed fishbox on the unwashed boat.

On the trip that prompted me to write this column, the 10 lobster taken were divided, three, three, two, and two for the boat owner. The gang then split leaving a very tired skipper to clean up, carry his own tanks to his car, but just think, he got two lobster for his effort. On that occasion, the captain had caught four of the lobster, too.

Understand, the boat owner/skipper/captain did not take you along as slaves. They didn't expect a dozen lobster. But they would like to break somewhere near even on the day, and their family likes lobster and fresh fish as much as yours!!

OFFER HELP! Clean the boat and diving and fishing gear so the captain can do the other necessary things which you cannot help with. And when the spoils are divided, how about . . . . .one for the captain, one for the boat, and one for the guest. If the boat doesn't eat it's share maybe the captain will.

If you want to be a good boat guest, consider the boatman and the boat! Wear boat shoes or sneakers. Keep your feet off the varnish and brightwork. Follow instructions when using the head (which is the john, toilet, loo, etc. to you landlubbers). Be careful not to scratch the varnish, chip the fiberglass, spill drinks on the charts or electronics, etc. Offer to take a turn at the wheel or weigh anchor, or if you are on a sailboat, to raise the sails, or tend the sheets. If you know how to splice, offer to crown splice or serve the ends of raveling lines. Eye splices in dock and mooring lines are always welcome. Splicing alone can be a big help to many boat owners. Pick up trash and place it in a container, even if someone else was the slob who threw it on the deck.

I used to say, " When you bring food, bring enough to share! Don't bring your two sandwiches. Bring luncheon meat or cheese for several people. You can always take it home with you if some is left over. Bring a six-pack of the skippers favorite beer." As above, this seems to be illegal! When everyone is doing their thing, or snoozing on the foredeck, spend a little time talking with the captain. He or she has just as much need for companionship as the rest of the gang; probably even more because most guests ignore the captain. When you go diving, ask if the captain wants a dive buddy, and offer to be that buddy. When the fish are biting, offer to take a trick at the wheel while the captain FISHES. And make your offer sound convincing!!

When you come alongside, handle the docklines (learn how if necessary). Clean the boat and the day's catch. Offer the captain first choice of the catch. He/she will be so startled they will probably refuse, but make the offer. Coil; all the lines, wipe down the brightwork, dump trash, and when everyone else has bugged off, ask what else you can do to help. You cannot stuff a five or ten-spot in his bait and tackle box, or under the edge of the compass. Don't ask. Nonetheless fuel costs money, and believe me the expenses of owning a boat more than justifies a little help with the boat, before, during and after the trip! The people who do this sort of thing are pretty special in the owners eyes.......because they care.

I'll guarantee you this: You will be the first person called the next time that skipper goes out. You will be essentially certain of lots of boating, fishing and diving without the enormous expense of owning and maintaining one of those holes in the water which absorb money and time - a boat!